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Beware, Hell Hounds! Use This Forbidden Knowledge to Survive!


This week’s obsession is hell hounds and devil dogs. The monster reoccurs from folklore across the world. What doth their omen foretell? How do writers use it in contemporary stories? And if the beast is real, how can we stop it? Keep reading…if you dare!


Encyclopedia

First, some historical hellhound context to identify and vanquish these beasts.

Cerberus

Underworld Cerberus from Magic the Gathering by Svetlin Velinov | Credit: Wizards of the Coast

Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hades, was first written down around 500 BC. He’s probably the most popular hellhound, a guardian of the underworld. But is he formidable? Hercules bagged him for a feat, and Orpheus played a lullaby to put his ass to sleep. Despite the three heads, this dog seems like a pushover.

Garmr

Cover for New Mutants #82, Illustrator Bret Blevins | Credit: Marvel/Disney

Garmr offers a Norse twist on an underworld guardian hound and introduces the word hellhound. As “the hound that came from Hel,” Garmr guarded the gates to the underworld, his fur covered in gore, “bloody on his breast.” Odin just sped past him on a horse. As seen above, Marvel’s New Mutants also encountered the big demon wolf once, and they also just snuck past it. Noticing a theme?

El Cadejo

Cadejo Blanco | Credit: Carlos Draco Herrera

El Cadejo, a South American myth popular in El Salvador, is a spectral dog that presents the duality of good or evil as white and black. When the dog has white fur and blue eyes, it’s benign, but if it’s black with red eyes, you gonna die. Remember this rhyme: Blue eyes and white, that’s alright; red eyes and black, you must stand back!

If you get attacked by El Cadejo, you’re toast. It’s a ghost dog. Weapons can’t hurt it. The dogs look for babies, drunks, vagabonds, and people with grudges, and the ghost dog picks them off lonely roads.

Black Dogs of the Isles

The Black Dog of Newgate, from the book The Discovery of a London Monster Called the Black Dog of Newgate published in 1638 | Credit: Wikicommons

Black dogs of England are demonic ghost dogs, like the ones in South America. England reported devil dogs in almost every county. And they all have hilarious names, e.g., Barghest, Black Shuck, Bodu, Capelthwaite, Hairy Jack, Padfoot, Gytrash, Moddey Dhoo. The dogs approach much like a werewolf. They come out at night, maul passersby, and leave the whole town confused, not unlike the plot of American Werewolf in London. Avoid these creatures!

TLDR Secrets to Defeating Demon Dogs:

  • Hell Guardians: Surprisingly easy to beat! Sneak past them, use music or Ambien.
  • Ghost Dogs: Odds here are bleak. But if you can’t beat them, join them. Become the beast and pray for lupine revenge.

Books

Hell Hound | By Ken Greenhill | Paperbacks from Hell | 1977/2017

Hell Hound by Ken Greenhill | Credit: Paperbacks from Hell

Hell Hound is a re-release of a forgotten ’70s horror pulp novel that genuinely creeped me out.

What happens when a dog becomes a killing machine?!

I’m a dog person. I love dogs. I’ve owned them. I watch videos of them. I hung out with one just the other day. But this novel showed me a dark side to dogs.

Baxter is one of those creepy-looking bull terriers. Sid’s dog from Toy Story. The type of dog who’s head looks engineered for biting. Here’s one on the poster for the novel’s French film adaptation

Baxter (1989) | Credit: MK2 Productions

I see why the French liked this book. Baxter’s internal monologue is the same detached, selfish nihilism as Camus. When the dog decides to kill a person, he thinks to himself.

I understand that conditions change; that I must be able to control those changes…I don’t understand it. But I no longer fear things that I don’t understand.

The dog does nasty stuff. Baxter targets old ladies, babies, little dogs, and he befriends a teenage Nazi. Baxter only finds commonality with the teen fascist. They both are struggling to maintain their base, uncivilized impulses.

The humans around Baxter are unpleasant, a collection of suburban loners veering on insanity. An elderly neurotic, a couple stuck in a failed marriage, a porn-addict father who buys soiled panties at the thrift store, and a teacher who keeps a card catalog of every student’s forgotten lives and broken dreams. Perhaps Baxter is just mirroring the lead-paint society of the 1970s?

Today, in 2020s America, no one thinks of dogs as killers. People treat their dogs like children or perhaps royalty. It’s almost socially unacceptable not to like dogs, a preference magnified into a personality flaw.

And yet, with dogs exists a wolf. Dogs are trained to respect humans. And they can be trained to bite humans, too. There’s a reason prison guards weaponize dogs. Sharp teeth, vice-like jaws, surprising strength relative to size, and far superior speed to a human make a dog brutal to fight. The meme that pitbulls eat babies has some truth to it.

And we think of dogs as loyal. But Baxter believes it’s people who are loyal to the far superior species. He explains,

People have a great capacity for loyalty to those who seem to depend on them. I have benefitted from that loyalty, but I don’t understand it. Urinate on their carpets, chew up one of the objects they endlessly accumulate. They sometimes punish, but in their loyalty they always forgive. Does their loyalty have any limits? Some day I’ll know. Soon, perhaps.

And learn he does when Baxter gives up his freedom, becomes subsumed to someone else, and meets a gory demise. It’s surprisingly poetic and has much to say about a world run on petty cruelties. Hell Hound is an incredible book with excellent prose. I recommend it to anyone who likes horror novels.


Comics

Hounds | Sam Romesburg, Sam Freeman, Rodrigo Vázquez | Mad Cave Studios | 2024

Hound, Writers Sam Romesburg and Sam Freeman, Illustrated by Rodrigo Vázquez | Credit Mad Cave Studios

Hound is an ultra-violent, anti-war story about British werewolves in WWI and a well-paced, provocative read.

Our narrator is a young boy, a child soldier, sent to the front line to defend Britain.

A Panel from Hound: Illustrated by Rodrigo Vázquez | Credit: Mad Cave Studios

The hells of war will turn the soldiers into hellhounds. The illustrations are well rendered with keen perspective. The color palette reminds me of watercolors and 60s-era war comics, fitting for the balance between military and horror.

A Page from Hound: Illustrated by Rodrigo Vázquez | Credit: Mad Cave Studios

Our hero must confront the beast inside himself while trying to take over a German town. And the beasts that are his comrades in arms. When he encounters the werewolves, the combat is fluid and kinetic, with great sound effects.

A Page from Hound: Illustrated by Rodrigo Vázquez | Credit: Mad Cave Studios

At its core, the story confronts whether humans instinctually lust for blood. Does war awaken that in humans? Man’s latent cruelty may be the core of hellhound legends. Not what if a man is a dog, but what if a dog was as cruel as a man?

Two Panels from Hound: Illustrated by Rodrigo Vázquez | Credit: Mad Cave Studios

Another great release from Mad Cave Studios! They’re putting out cool comics. Check them out at your comic shop or on Hoopla. Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for a review copy.


Film

Cujo | Lewis Teague | 1983 | Warner Brothers

Cujo, the rabid dog | Credit: Warner Brothers

How could I write about Demon Dogs without mentioning Cujo? I finally watched the 80s horror classic, and the crazed St. Bernard touches on a different fear than our previous hellhounds. What if a good dog goes bad? All it takes is Cujo sticking his head in a tree full of bats. Then, he loses all context and starts killing people. We humans try to forget that dogs can go crazy, too.


Pile of the Week

Dog Reading Book During Daytime by 2Photo Pots | Credit: Unsplash

Finally, to cleanse the Bad Dog vibes, look at this dog reading a book. That’s nice.


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